A word of warning: If you're on an acid trip right now, or think of taking a tab, don't watch these ads. They'll freak you right out. I'm sober as a judge, and I'm still unnerved after sitting through rasta dogs and pirate cats "singing" about toasted sandwiches. Quiznos, obviously you think your pet-centric commercials from WongDoody are high-larious. But you might be the only one. So, why did you have to go and invite other people to add to this disturbing cutout-kitten oeuvre? Why? Here's the contest, anyway: Submit your own version of the spots to Quiznos.com, and you could win some cash ($3,000, $4,000 or $5,000), and your video could be used as torture for the rest of us. Good luck, all. And please lay off the drugs.