Cue the voice of ex-MTV veejay Mark Goodman: “You loved the albums. Now drink the wine! Wines that Rock, available now for only $16.99.” At least this how I imagine the cheesy informercial sounding for this new line of rock album-inspired wine. Yes, as if Woodstock, the Rolling Stones and Dark Side of the Moon haven’t been commercialized enough, now there is a wine collection. Mark Beaman, winemaker at Wines That Rock explains the products: “The Woodstock Chardonnay was produced to express the mixture of revolution and the vitality of Woodstock, the Forty Licks Merlot needed to be timeless with a bit of spunk and the Dark Side of the Moon Cabernet Sauvignon was created to bottle up the soft, haunting complexity of the album.” Kind of seems like a joke gone wrong. Although I’d be happy to name the rest of the portfolio: How about some Pipers at the Gates of Dawn plum wine, Beggars Banquet Bordeaux and Sticky Fingers Shiraz? Moreover, it’s not like the artists themselves are behind this. The company’s press release says it was created by rock business and fan-club managers. Apparently, their only talent is to suck every last drop of affection we have for classic rock at $16.99 a bottle.
—Posted by Kenneth Hein