Has Google replaced Microsoft as the de facto evil corporation?

Posted on Thu Feb 18 2010

Is Google the new Microsoft? This video from Comedy.com certainly seems to be channeling a kind of rage against the Google machine that harkens back to the late '90s, when many thought Microsoft would soon control the world. Here, a putative Google spokesman responds to complaints about Google Buzz by reminding people that Google can kill you and then giving the camera the finger. ("Index this!") The script then lays out a very Microsoft-like indictment: "We have never had a single, original idea ever. Our business model is to find something successful that already exists and then use our trillions of dollars to make a Google version. MapQuest sure seems to be popular and profitable. Boom! Google Maps." He goes on to say that when Google can't figure out how to copy something, like YouTube, it just buys it. "We may look innocent with our cutesy holiday logos and April Fool's pranks, but we run your fucking lives," he explains. "We are fucking Google. If we tell you to buzz, you will buzz." On a related note, check out this Onion video in which Google offers to protect your privacy by relocating you to a remote village.

—Posted by Todd Wasserman

Here's the Tiger Woods version of that Google search-stories ad

Posted on Mon Feb 8 2010

Wow, that was fast! A day after Google's "Parisian Love" search-stories ad ran on the Super Bowl, there's already a parody out there about Tiger Woods's search story. In the faux ad, Tiger searches "How to hide facial lacerations" and then "Escalade grille work" and then goes on to search his various mistresses and their possible STD histories, culminating with "Florida divorce attorneys." If the topic seems a bit shopworn, that's because the video was actually made in December and was a response to "Parisian Love" and other search-stories ads that were actually released on YouTube last fall. But since most people weren't aware of these ads until last night, now's the time to update. Satirists, it's time to whip up something with Obama searching "Tea party" or "Iran nukes" and then "Headache relief" or something along those lines.

—Posted by Todd Wasserman

Ed Anger of 'Weekly World News' ready to kick some ass online

Posted on Fri Jan 15 2010

Ed-anger

Fox News may think it's cornered the market on right-wing rants, but veteran Weekly World News columnist Ed Anger knows better. There's plenty of room for his arch-conservative vitriol, along with newly minted brand extensions like a dedicated comic series, Web site, Twitter feed and Facebook page. For the uninitiated, Anger is the nom de guerre used by a number of WWN staffers over the years for a column called "The Angriest Generation," which is basically more O'Reilly than O'Reilly. Except it's funny. The writer once famously opened a column with this ditty: "I'm madder than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest." The legendary newspaper, which is online only these days under ownership of Bat Boy LLC, continues to farm out and exploit its best-known satirical features. The timing's right on for expanding the Ed Anger mantle, and the fake-rage-filled writer has come around to the digital age because he sees it as "a necessary, blunt-force instrument to man-up this spoiled, metro-sexualized, hacky-sack-playin' iGeneration," according to his press release. He figures going online will make him enough scratch for "ammo, canned beans and John Wayne movies on Betamax" while he waits for the inevitable apocalypse. Check him out here. (Image: IDW Publishing.)

—Posted by T.L. Stanley

Google's new Nexus One phone gets all up in the iPhone's grill

Posted on Fri Jan 8 2010

Google this week announced the launch of its über-cool smartphone called Nexus One, which promises the ultimate Web experience on a phone. A commercial for the new device shows off its features to a spacey tune that plays in the background. Clearly, Nexus is being positioned as an iPhone rival, from its Web capabilities to its actual design. But any ad challenging the iPhone deserves a good spoof, like the one posted here, by Landline TV. In the foul-mouthed video, Nexus is appropriately renamed the "Fuck You iPhone," allowing you to "text asses to iPhone users," use "audio neutralization" to block blabbing iPhoners, and turn on the "optimized urination interface" to "fuck with any iPhone's shit." The Google phone is so good, it will also invite itself over to your house, prank order 20 pizzas and steal your girlfriend. Hey, don't make that face! I didn't make this stuff up.

—Posted by Elena Malykhina

Stephen Colbert defends mayo from vicious Miracle Whip attacks

Posted on Mon Oct 19 2009

Stephen Colbert won't sit idly by and watch the current "schmear" campaign that's happening in the sandwich-spread aisle. He's outraged at a Miracle Whip commercial that tells the 18-34s it's targeting: "Don't go unnoticed. Don't blend in. Don't be so mayo." Colbert and his team answered that attack ad on his late-night Comedy Central show recently with a shot-for-shot parody to support mayonnaise, "the illest condiment." Silence, "mayo-naysayers!" Miracle Whip's campaign, from mcgarrybowen, is part of a brand overhaul that's aimed at reinventing the product, which launched during the Great Depression as a low-cost mayo substitute. Colbert, for one, isn't buying it. "Miracle Wimp," anyone?

—Posted by T.L. Stanley

Subaru owners can wash filthy selves off with Outback detergent

Posted on Mon Oct 5 2009

Subaru, the auto brand that seems uniquely positioned to withstand a recession, is now getting into Procter & Gamble's turf with a detergent line. The Japanese automaker quietly released Outback Detergent with an infomercial. The line is aimed at Subaru's rough-and-tumble fans, who soil their clothes on rugged mountain treks and such. OK, the detergent line isn't real, but it is a funny and flattering portrayal of people who buy Subarus. The infomercial, created by Carmichael Lynch is pretty spot-on. "Shelly, do me a favor, smell this," says the host, handing off a pair of shorts. "Smells great," Shelly coos. The host beams: "I wore these exact shorts on a 50-mile mountain bike ride before coming in here today!" "I want this in a perfume," says Shelly, who then hands the shorts off to the audience to sniff. Other vignettes show a nature photographer doing his thing ("Who's a sexy bird?" he calls to a fake sparrow) and a guy rappelling off a cliff who ends up in a neck brace. The weird thing is, a detergent for Outback types isn't that bad an idea. Maybe L.L. Bean should look into it.

—Posted by Todd Wasserman

'SNL' makes respectable fake-commercial return with Bladdivan

Posted on Mon Sep 28 2009

There's nothing like a fake commercial on Saturday Night Live to draw attention to a special kind of stage fright and Big Pharma's cheery, side-effect-filled solution to it. In the dead-on parody style the show has mastered over 35 seasons, this weekend's premiere gave us an ad for the fictional Bladdivan, a diuretic/anti-anxiety drug that combats "chronic shy bladder syndrome." A character played by Fred Armisen just can't belly up to a crowded urinal and let go with the other guys. With this medication, he can pee anytime, anywhere (which could be embarrassing, but that's where the sedative part of the chill pill comes in). Armchair critics have pointed to the skit as one of the highlights of an otherwise uneven and lackluster season premiere on Saturday. Hey, don't blame host Megan Fox. She even broke out an exaggerated version of her native Tennessee twang and managed not to drop the F-bomb during a biker-chick skit. That should be worth something. Bladdivan is no Colon Blow, but it's a decent debut for the new season.

—Posted by T.L. Stanley

Cosmedicine offers big bucks for your spoof beauty commercial

Posted on Wed Sep 23 2009

Beauty brand Cosmedicine (which bills itself—no duh—as a combination of cosmetics and medicine) has launched a video contest where consumers are asked to vent about the beauty industry's outrageous claims. The "Protest Beauty B.S." competition has a $5,000 cash prize, with the winner selected from among 11 top "vote getters" on YouTube. (Can we get a spa treatment with that money?) The submissions so far include a spoof of a U.K. "pore-evaporating" liquid concealer spot ("I tried this makeup last week, and it burned my skin. It'll get rid of your pores all right, and replace them with third-degree burns") and the top-rated video so far, shown here, for a product called Rosyline. It makes fun of acne creams, with two girls singing the praises of the "micro-scrubbing Photoshop cells which completely blur up all your pores and acne, stopping breakouts. Heck, if the one girl had used it earlier, she might've prevented her dog from getting run over. (The poor critter dashed into the street after seeing her pimply face.) "The reason I know it was my acne was the people who ran over my dog thought I was the one who got run over," she adds.

—Posted by Elaine Wong

Steve Nash and 50 Cent get you to make your own Vitaminwater

Posted on Tue Sep 22 2009

Add one part gruff-voiced spokesman and two parts too-soon Billy Mays parody, blend until frothy, and you've got this spoof infomercial for Vitaminwater. If you have trouble taking vitamins the old-fashioned way, "Canadian celebrity Steve Nash" and his gravely voice want you to know there's hope. This mildly amusing spot is for the drink's "flavorcreator" Facebook application, which you can use to design your own variety of Vitaminwater. To promote the app, the company goes so far as to give a cameo to Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, who designed his own flavor a while back. Throughout his 20 seconds on camera, he delivers countless gems such as, "I mean, I'm so paid, man." The funniest part of this ad is undoubtedly the actors' facial expressions. If Vitaminwater could bottle them, it could finally make a good flavor without the help of its customers.

—Posted by Elana Glowatz

Colgate's Wisp does a whole lot more than just brush your teeth

Posted on Tue Sep 15 2009

Colgate's Wisp may not be catching on with consumers, but according to this spoof ShamWow-style infomercial, there are many other uses for the single-use mini toothbrush that you're not aware of. The ad, created by Big Fuel, opens with the presenter announcing: "Buckle up, 'cause your mouth is about to go on a roller-coaster ride to Planet Fun." He then showcases outrageous uses for the Wisp, including carving a watermelon, using it as a spatula to flip pancakes when your "doll babies are finished wolfing those down," scrubbing plates, pointing at tiny presentations at work, and combing your mustache. You know it's a spoof when the presenter throws in a free trip around the world with an order of Wisp, and the ad lists benefits like: "crazy fresh breath, no spitting, no water, and kill a small vampire." Hey, even in comedy there's a dose of truth. I'm sure Colgate wouldn't mind if Wisps were used as spatulas or mustache combs if it helped the product's sales.

—Posted by Elena Malykhina


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