Olives will absolutely, positively transform your very existence

Posted on Mon Feb 2 2009

Olive

Consumer research has long been a valued and versatile tool in the marketer's arsenal. And if you're in the business of hawking the humble olive, it might be the only one you've got.
  After all, olives made their debut in the human diet around 3000 B.C., so calling them "hot and new" would be be a stretch. Still, BrandFreak's Press Release Debunking Division sprang into action this week after a new study commissioned by canned-olive brand Lindsay (which is currently introducing new products, marketing, packaging and a Web site) revealed this bombshell: "Consumers overwhelmingly agreed that olives are positively transformative."
  Huh? Meaning olives can rehabilitate criminals? Will Congress be adding olives to the economic-stimulus package?
  Not quite. But an inquiry to the good folks at Lindsay parent Bell-Carter Foods of Berkeley, Calif., did reveal heretofore unknown intelligence about the Olea europaea. Apparently, 88 percent of those who already eat olives believe that eating them is "fun." What's more, when olives were (forgive us) pitted against competing snacks like carrots and peppers, consumers considered the olives to be "special." Finally, some consumers reported that after a stressful day at work—or perhaps a stressful day of looking for work—they reached for olives upon returning home in order to reduce stress. (It's unclear how many of those stress-relieving olives happened to be swimming in a martini glass, but never mind.)
  Still, "positively transformative"? Well, maybe you gotta eat the whole can.

—Posted by Robert Klara


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