If I wanted to look like Bozo, I would've shopped for hair dye in the "clown colors" section of my local CVS. But I don't, so I didn't. Instead, I bought the color I always buy: Clairol's Nice 'N Easy in light golden brown. Problem was, it turned my hair red. It's a (mercifully) correctable issue that I hoped to fix with two more doses of Clairol (cost: about $16). But in separately mixing up both those packages—same color, identical product—I noticed they looked vastly different. One was reddish, while the other was dark as chocolate. Thankfully, the combo of the two gave me something closer to my own color and further from a fright wig, but I figured a call to Clairol's consumer hotline was in order. What gives? Why the inconsistency? Why should I buy this brand again when it's let me down? What I got was a pseudo-lesson in oxidation that went something like this: "When the air hits it, sometimes the color changes, blah, blah, blah." Thank you, Bill Nye. And that was it. No concession. No attempt to keep me as a loyal customer. Not even a believable apology. If someone as—how shall I put this?—persistent as I am can't get a marketer to cough up some meaningful customer service, what chance does the rest of the brand-buying public have? It's maddening, I say! My tip: Don't bother ringing up 1-800-Clairol, because those "Satisfaction guaranteed" and "Money back" claims are as fake as my new shade. I could've spent that time studying Revlon and L'Oréal products, but I'll do exactly that for the impending brand switch. Hanging up now, Clairol!
—Posted by T.L. Stanley