Seriously, America, you really think Starbucks is the best coffee?

"Zagat says we're the country's No. 1 best coffee. Actually you said it, but Zagat repeated it (which is nice)," says Starbucks. Are you for real, America? You think Starbucks is the best coffee? You were fooled by the smiling naked mermaid mounted on every cup, or perhaps by the seemingly innocent media promotions in which Starbucks posed questions like, "What if we all cared enough to vote? Not just 54 percent of us, but 100 percent of us"? Clearly, Starbucks has become an omnipotent and dominant force. In the 1999 film Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Dr. Evil's lair is, in fact, Starbucks. I don't believe in coincidences. Not only has Starbucks taken over almost every street corner, infiltrated mainstream media and pop culture, but the brand is also aggressively forcing its way into the Internet in the form of digital ads, e-mails, Twitter, MySpace and Facebook. Enough is enough, Starbucks! Give the little guys a chance. Have we no time to pause in a small café, sip quality coffee and appreciate life, rather than turning to quick fixes like Starbucks? Ah, but look again, Starbucks won for best coffee in the fast-food section of Zagat's 2009 survey. That's like being the best of the worst. In that case, congrats Starbucks!  

—Posted by Allison Shafir