Jeff Goldblum is alive and well and still drunkenly touting Apple

Contrary to press reports, Jeff Goldblum is very much alive, although Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett are not. We're happy that Goldblum didn't fulfill the cliché that celeb death comes in threes (although it did if you include Ed McMahon). In fact, we're so happy, we'd like to celebrate Goldblum's work for Apple. A few years ago, someone figured out that if you slow down Goldblum's halting, quirky narration in those spots, he sounds quite blotto. This video got some play yesterday as Internet ghouls rushed to immerse themselves in all things Goldblum. To repeat: He's very much alive, though in these doctored spots he sounds like he's about to collapse.

—Posted by Todd Wasserman